Words to avoid using at work!

These nine words and phrases will make you sound noncommittal, undependable and untrustworthy.

Let's look at some specific words and phrases that are used by some people to buy time, avoid giving answers and escape commitment. If you use these words and phrases yourself, take a scalpel and cut them out of your thinking, speaking and writing. Words like these only weaken you and make you sound noncommittal, undependable and untrustworthy.

"Try"

Try is a weasel word. "Well, I'll try," some people say. It's a cop-out. They're just giving you lip service when they probably have no real intention of doing what you ask. Remember what Yoda says to Luke Skywalker in Star Wars: "Do or do not-there is no try." Take Yoda's advice. Give it your all when you attempt something. And if it doesn't work, start over.

Put passion into your work and give it your best effort, so you can know that you did all you could to make it happen. So if the outcome you were expecting didn't come to fruition, it's not because you didn't do everything you could to make it happen. It just wasn't the right time for it or it wasn't meant to be.

"Whatever"

This word is a trusted favourite of people who want to dismiss you, diminish what you say or get rid of you quickly. "Whatever," they will say as an all-purpose response to your earnest request. It's an insult and a verbal slap in the face. It's a way to respond to a person without actually responding. When you say "whatever" after another person has said his or her piece, you have essentially put up a wall between the two of you and halted any progress in communicating. It's a word to avoid.

"Maybe" and "I don't know"

People will sometimes avoid making a decision and hide behind words and phrases like "maybe" and "I don't know." There's a difference between legitimately not knowing something and using words like these as excuses. Sometimes during a confrontation people will claim not to know something or offer the noncommittal response "maybe," just to avoid being put on the spot. If that seems to be the case, ask, "When do you think you will know?" or "How can you find out?" Don't let the person off the hook so easily.

"I'll get back to you"

When people need to buy time or avoid revealing a project's status, they will say, "I'll get back to you," and they usually never do. If people say they will get back to you, always clarify. Ask them when they will get back to you, and make sure they specify the day and time. If they don't, then pin them down to a day and time and hold them to it. If they won't give you a day or time, tell them you'll call in a day or week and follow up. Make sure you call and get the information you need.

"If"

Projects depend on everyone doing his or her part. People who use "if" are usually playing the blame game and betting against themselves. They like to set conditions, rather than assuming a successful outcome. People who rely on conditional responses are fortifying themselves against potential failure. They will say, "If Bob finishes his part, then I can do my part." They're laying the groundwork for a "no fault" excuse and for not finishing their work.

There are always alternatives, other routes and ways to get the job done. Excuse makers usually have the energy of a slug, the vision of Mr Magoo and the spine of a jellyfish. You don't want them on your mountain climbing team up K-2 or Mount Everest.

"Yes, but ..."

This is another excuse. You might give your team members suggestions or solutions and they come back to you with "Yes, but . . ." as a response. They don't really want answers, help, or solutions. You need to call the "Yes, but . . ." people out on their avoidance tactic by saying something like: "You know, Jackie, every time I offer you a suggestion you say, 'Yes, but . . . ,' which makes me think you don't really want to solve this problem. That's not going to work. If you want to play the victim, go right ahead, but I'm not going to allow you to keep this up and I may have to report you." After a response like that, you can be assured that the next words you hear will not be, "Yes, but . . ."!

"I guess ..."

This is usually said in a weak, soft-spoken, shoulder-shrugging manner. It's another attempt to shirk responsibility-a phrase is only muttered when people half agree with you, but want to leave enough leeway to say, "Well, I didn't really know. . . . I was only guessing." If you use this phrase, cut it out of your vocabulary.

"We'll see ..."

How many times did we hear our parents say this? We knew they were buying time, avoiding a fight or confrontation or really saying no. It's better to be decisive and honest by saying, "I need more information. Please present your case or send me the data-both pro and con-so I can make an informed decision." That way the interested parties will contribute to an in-depth, well-researched "verdict."

This column is an excerpt of Surviving The Toxic Workplace (McGraw-Hill, 2010) by Linnda Durre, a psychotherapist, business consultant and columnist.

Team Development - the process

Forming - Storming - Norming - Performing

This model was first developed by Bruce Tuckman in 1965.

It is one of the best known team development theories and has formed the basis of many further ideas since its conception.

Tuckman's theory focuses on the way in which a team tackles a task from the initial formation of the team through to the completion of the project.

Tuckman later added a fifth phase; Adjourning and Transforming to cover the finishing of a task.

Tuckman's theory is particularly relevant to team building challenges as the phases are relevant to the completion of any task undertaken by a team.

One of the very useful aspects of team building challenges contained within a short period of time is that teams have an opportunity to observe their behaviour within a measurable time frame.

Often teams are involved in projects at work lasting for months or years and it can be difficult to understand experiences in the context of a completed task.

Forming

The team is assembled and the task is allocated.

Team members tend to behave independently and although goodwill may exist they do not know each other well enough to unconditionally trust one another.

Time is spent planning, collecting information and bonding.

Storming

The team starts to address the task suggesting ideas.

Different ideas may compete for ascendancy and if badly managed this phase can be very destructive for the team.

Relationships between team members will be made or broken in this phase and some may never recover.

In extreme cases the team can become stuck in the Storming phase.

If a team is too focused on consensus they may decide on a plan which is less effective in completing the task for the sake of the team.

This carries its own set of problems. It is essential that a team has strong facilitative leadership in this phase.

Norming

As the team moves out of the Storming phase they will enter the Norming phase.

This tends to be a move towards harmonious working practices with teams agreeing on the rules and values by which they operate.

In the ideal situation teams begin to trust themselves during this phase as they accept the vital contribution of each member to the team.

Team leaders can take a step back from the team at this stage as individual members take greater responsibility.

The risk during the Norming stage is that the team becomes complacent and loses either their creative edge or the drive that brought them to this phase.

Performing

Not all teams make it to the Performing phase, which is essentially an era of high performance.

Performing teams are identified by high levels if independence, motivation, knowledge and competence.

Decision making is collaborative and dissent is expected and encouraged as there will be a high level of respect in the communication between team members.

Adjourning & Transforming

This is the final phase added by Tuckman to cover the end of the project and the break up of the team.

Some call this phase Mourning, although this is a rather depressing way of looking at the situation.

More enlightened managers have called Progressive Resources in to organise a celebratory event at the end of a project and members of such a team will undoubtedly leave the project with fond memories of their experience.

It should be noted that a team can return to any phase within the model if they experience a change, for example a review of their project or goals or a change in members of a team.

In a successful team when a member leaves or a new member joins the team will revert to the Forming stage, but it may last for a very short time as the new team member is brought into the fold.

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Team Issues

The Elephant in the Living Room There is a popular analogy today that refers to "the elephant in the living room". This phrase is an amusing way to talk about a very serious matter, un-discussable team issues. What makes an issue un-discussable is anyone's guess. It could be that the unmentioned issue will create embarrassment for someone, might surface unwanted conflict, or is simply a topic that team members don't know how to broach. Much like an elephant in the living room, the unmentionable issue gets harder to ignore over time. The longer it goes unattended, the messier and larger it gets. It eventually interferes with team functioning like an elephant in one's living room would hinder a normal lifestyle. Although the issue is never directly confronted, it takes team energy and focus away from the job, and preoccupies the team with a disruptive distraction. As you might suspect, to move the elephant out of the team living room you must deal with it. The first step in doing so is to acknowledge that it exists. This means that someone on the team must be brave enough to bring up the issue and accept the consequences involved with shedding light on the subject. The person who does so should be ready to hear others deny that the issue is real, and that it has relevance to team functioning. Despite these protests, the party who sees the issue must be able to provide tangible evidence that the undisclosed topic is indeed pertinent to team success. It is necessary to remember that un-discussable issues remain so because they pose a threat to something or someone that the team values. Be as discreet, kind, factual, and non-judgmental as possible when surfacing the issue and you will increase the likelihood that the topic will be addressed rather than swiftly swept under the carpet again.

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Basic Team Working's

Basic Team Working

What is a team anyway?

-A team is a small number of people with complementary skills who are committed to a common purpose, performance goals, and approach for which they hold themselves mutually accountable

-Small Number

-Complementary Skills

-Common Purpose & Performance Goals

-Common Approach

-Mutual Accountability

Ten common teaming problems

-Floundering

-Overbearing participants

-Dominating participants

-Reluctant participants

-Unquestioned acceptance of opinions as facts

-Rush to accomplishment

-Attribution

-Discounts and "plops"

-Wanderlust: digression and tangents

-Feuding members

Five issues to be considered in team building

1. Interdependence

This is the issue of how each member's outcomes are determined, at least in part, by the actions of the other members. The structure of the team task should be such that it requires cooperative interdependence. Functioning independently of other team members, or competing with them should lead to sub optimal outcomes for the entire team. Tasks that require the successful performance of sub tasks by all team members are called divisible, conjunctive tasks.

2. Goal Specification

It is very important for team members to have common goals for team achievement, as well as to communicate clearly about individual goals they may have. The process of clarifying goals may well engage all of the issues on this list. Indeed, shared goals is one of the definitional properties of the concept "team." A simple, but useful, team building task is to assign a newly formed team the task of producing a mission and goals statement.

3. Cohesiveness. 
This term refers to the attractiveness of team membership. Teams are cohesive to the extent that membership in them is positively valued; members are drawn toward the team. In task oriented teams the concept can be differentiated into two sub concepts, social cohesiveness and task cohesiveness. Social cohesiveness refers to the bonds of interpersonal attraction that link team members. Although a high level of social cohesiveness may make team life more pleasant, it is not highly related to team performance. Nevertheless, the patterns of interpersonal attraction within a team are a very prominent concern. Team building exercises that have a component of fun or play are useful in allowing attraction bonds to develop. Task cohesiveness refers to the way in which skills and abilities of the team members mesh to allow effective performance.

4. Roles and Norms
All teams develop a set of roles and norms over time. In task oriented teams, it is essential that the role structure enables the team to cope effectively with the requirements of the task. When the task is divisible and conjunctive, as are most of the important team tasks in our society, the assignment of roles to members who can perform them effectively is essential. Active consideration of the role structure can be an important part of a team building exercise. Task roles may be rotated so that all team members experience, and learn from, all roles. Even then, it is important that the norm governing the assignment of roles is understood and accepted by team members.

Norms are the rules governing the behavior of team members, and include the rewards for behaving in accord with normative requirements, as well as the sanctions for norm violations. Norms will develop in a team, whether or not they are actively discussed. 

5. Communication
Effective interpersonal communication is vital to the smooth functioning of any task team. There are many ways of facilitating the learning of effective communication skills. Active listening exercises, practice in giving and receiving feedback, practice in checking for comprehension of verbal messages, are all aimed at developing skills. It is also important for a team to develop an effective communication network; who communicates to whom; is there anybody "out of the loop?" Norms will develop governing communication. Do those norms encourage everyone to participate, or do they allow one or two dominant members to claim all the "air time?"

(From Scholtes, Peter R., The Team Handbook, Joiner Associates (1988))

Which Teambuilding company?

7 Questions to ask when selecting
 a TeamBuilding company!



Buyer Beware! Many team building companies are simply recreation suppliers who know how to play games, but don't understand business.

Possibly the best way to evaluate a team building company is to ask their advice on helping you solve an actual problem your team is facing. You might be surprised how many team building companies know how to play games, and they may even know how to debrief those games, but they don't really know team dynamics in the business world. The vast majority of team building practitioners do NOT come from a business background. They come from a recreational background. Therefore, they probably do not understand your business. By asking them to consult with you for 10 - 15 minutes on an actual team building problem you will see who can deliver the goods and who can't.

Q. Can you give me some advice on a specific problem I am having with my team?

It seems that "team building" is quickly becoming a buzz word for all kinds of service providers: from clowns to sailors to wine tasting companies. Effective team building must be delivered by a company with training expertise. Too often, companies which call what they do "team building" are simply wanting to take your money and play games with your people.

The quickest way to determine if a team building company can actually help you build your teams is to ask what training assessment instruments they are certified in. At the very least they should be certified in D.i.S.C. work profile assessment and the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. This question will quickly remove the fun n' games outfits from the serious team building providers.

Q. How do you help participants make connections from the activities to business applications?

There is a particular skill set involved in leading and facilitating an excellent team building program. The first skill is design and the second is delivery. Frankly, design is the easy part. Almost any team building activity can work for almost any team building issue. It is true that some activities lend themselves to particular outcomes (i.e. communication, trust, problem solving, decision making, cooperation vs. competition, etc.) but in the hands of a skilled, professional facilitator the activity will get debriefed according to the real world issue the team is facing.

The hard part in any team building program is delivery (facilitating). It is surprising how many team building companies simply don't facilitate (or debrief) the activities. They ask a few questions at the end of the game and move into the next game. Again, DON'T waste your money on companies like these. Instead, ask the company to walk you through their philosophy on how they debrief activities. Ask them to give you a sample of the questions they ask. Good team building companies will have a developed philosophy on how they debrief. Their strategy will make good sense once they share it with you, so don't hesitate to ask.

Q. What training assessments are you certified in?

If your people are reluctant to go to a team building program it is probably because they have been subjected to these fun n' games activities with little or no business applications. The MOST important transaction that can happen during a team building event is for your people to solve real world business problems. That is ultimately what your company is paying for and that is what your company should get.

Ask the team building companies you are interviewing how they help participants make connections from the team building activities to business problems. Good team building companies will be able to give you lots and lots of extremely relevant examples. Drill down and ask for specifics on how the team building events they use have specifically helped past clients. If they can't give you specifics, backed up with several examples, then they simply don't know how to link the activity to real world business applications.

Q. What is your philosophy on how you debrief activities?
Q. Can you give me a list of sample questions you use?

Of course the really good team building companies have a long track record of success. Many companies post client lists on their web sites. If a company does not have a client list, make sure and ask for one. This will tell you if they are just starting out (and using your company as a learning experience for them) or if they are a serious, established provider.

Q. How long have you been in business?
Q. Who are your past clients?

By asking these seven questions you will save your company a lot of money and your people a lot of frustration. Team building, when done right, is one of the most powerful ways to achieve significant breakthroughs in employee productivity. And hey, it is really, really fun too.

Call us and ask us these questions 1300 226110

www.teambuildingaustralia.com.au